Plans

I can honestly say that being patient is not my strong suit. I don't like having to wait for other people. Waiting for things to happen that I think should be well underway is something I despise. Life is a waiting game, and I'm losing more often than not.
I have plans for my life. I have plan A and B, and I have even thought about C just in case the other two go awry. I know how each of them will play out and what my role will be in them. Yes, there are some points along all three paths that are a little fuzzy simply because I know that I cannot fully plan out everything. I don't know for a fact where I will be in a year or who will be in my life, but I have a pretty good inkling.
If I was a little smarter, I would realize that my plan has never worked out in the past. I have always had to instate back up plans and rework kinks. This life that I am living has yet to go like I thought it would, and as I sit here typing my thoughts, I am realizing, again, that all my plans were selfishly planned out. I wasn't including God or his plan for me. I wasn't consulting him to find out what he might think about it all (if I had, I would've been reminded that planning out my life is not my job).
God's given me desires and passions to reach people, but to be honest, I'm scared to do so because I so easily take hold of the reins and begin down the path that appears quick and easy. I am so easily distracted off the path that God has lain out for me. I see something that I want relatively close to my reach and I sprint toward it.
My impatience and desire to control things kills me. In my head I realize the affects they have on me, but my heart keeps insisting that I move forward.
This waiting game that I feel I am playing is probably largely my fault. If I would just sit still and wait on God to unfold things, I would be farther along than I am. Who knows, maybe I would be living out one of my plans.
I've often thought about working with young girls. There is something so important about having someone to talk to about anything and everything when you are in junior high, and even high school. I cannot even begin to explain just how important it was for me. Without my junior high youth leader, I probably would've been more lost than I was. When you find a person who can hug you and make you melt or who can read your emotions by one little glance, hold onto them because they are a true gift from God. I want to be that for another person. I want to express to them the importance of their life. I want to inform them that their opinions and dreams do matter. I want young girls to know that there is more to life than looking pretty and getting attention. I want them to realize that they were put on this earth for a reason-and it's not just to make money or attract boys.
Maybe I've been playing what I see as the waiting game because God's not done preparing me for the next step. Maybe he has a plan that trumps any of mine...actually, I'm sure he does...but maybe my incessant attempts to make my plan work have been blinding me to the plan he is working to unfold right in front of my eyes. And, maybe that plan is to work with young girls, or maybe it's something entirely different. Whatever it is, I know that it will be the time of my life because God isn't in the game to let me down. He's not out to disappoint me. His plan will be far better than any I've thought up. I just need to remember that no matter how many plans I create, they will foil without his hand in them.