From Pinterest-Perfection to Down and Dirty

I can remember all throughout my years at home that our house was always open to people. Mom's rule was "if you don't feel at home it's because you didn't make yourself at home." She wasn't the perfect Martha Stewart. She didn't always have the biggest meal made or the freshest cookies cooling on the rack, but she did always have a welcoming attitude. Rarely did I get to go to a friend's house because they preferred to come to mine. Our home was inviting. I think my mom truly embraced biblical hospitality.

I have been doing a study on Biblical Hospitality through She Reads Truth (here), and I have been convicted since day one. It's not that I feel like I have to have everything perfect, but I do feel the pressure to have things somewhat presentable before people come over. My husband and I moved into our house back in the spring. Being that we are still considered newly weds and now have a new house, our cash flow isn't exactly over the top, so decorating and settling hasn't moved as quickly as I would like. I am not the most crafty person and my vision for things is non existent so it takes me a while to really decide if something will work or not on the walls (add OCD to the mix and you can see the recipe for disaster when it comes to hanging things). 

I have learned so far in this study that hospitality begins in the heart. 

Romans 12:16 says "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." How often are we willing to open our home up to people we don't know? And not just our homes but our hearts? We see others who have a different living standard than we do and turn the other way. I am guilty of using the excuse that I am "more reserved" when it comes to people, but through this study I've realized this is just a cop out answer. God didn't see people of different standards as ones to turn away from. He invited them in with welcome arms. He met with the woman at the well when it was socially unacceptable to even acknowledge her existence. In Matthew 22:39 Jesus states that the second greatest commandment (first being love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind) is to love your neighbor as yourself. So often we choose to know then love rather than love then know. 

We aren't called to put up a front and appear to have it all together. I am in a bible study with some other woman, and one Sunday we met without the expectation of us all bawling our eyes out, but that's exactly what happened. When did it become socially acceptable- actually expected- to be put together? We are not called to be perfect and live life above others. We are called to be open and honest. Our prayer request time in that group went from each person saying one superficial concern to opening up and being vulnerable, and all it took was one person being honest and open about what was going on in her life. This may sound strange, but we have two shoulders on our body, but those two shoulders cannot comfortably soothe our own weary head. So, why do we feel as though we have to cope alone?  

Why is it so difficult to love others right where they are? We all set standards for different things, and unfortunately who we associate with is included in that list which is so sad. Most of us are probably guilty of impure intentions when it came to a friend. Think back to high school for a minute. I know I was willing to do what I could to be accepted by all people because I craved the approval of others. I didn't want to be friends with each person because I genuinely was interested in knowing them. I just wanted to be known by all as being friendly and approachable. Now there's nothing wrong with being friendly or approachable, but what are our intentions?

I know for a fact that many women struggle with opening up their home while there are piles of laundry on the couch, dirty dishes in the sink, and clutter on the table. I struggle with it. But, I also work a full time job taking care of two kids and cleaning their house. Right now I know there is laundry hanging in the bathroom to dry (gotta love dryers that shrink EVERYTHING!), Christmas gifts sitting on the table, craft supplies strung throughout the house (I'm attempting to make ornaments), and dog toys all over the living room floor. If someone said they were coming over after work I would be in instant freak out mode. But why? What's more important- being all put together and stressed or being real and honest resulting in being relaxed and open? Do I think that we should let our house go awry? No, but I think that people need to come before things. Being honest and real and open will invite more people in than having everything perfect and neat and orderly.

Jesus showed up at so many different people's homes without prior notice, and they were fine with it because they were able to fellowship with their Savior. He met people where they were in the day to day and was ready to get down and dirty while fellowshipping. He went to sea and helped men catch fish, he walked on dusty roads, he climbed hilltops to preach, he went to homes to heal, he went to wells to rest.

We have an opportunity to invite the weary, the brokenhearted, the confused, the lonely, the desperate, the needy, and the lost into our homes. So, what's more important- the cleanliness and perfection of our home or the honest and open welcome of our hearts?

Today is the Day

Today is the day.
No it's not a special holiday.
It's just a Thursday.
The sun is barely shining through the clouds as I type, but today is the day. Today is the only Tuesday that will fall on October 30 in 2014. Today is a once in a lifetime day. Yesterday and tomorrow were too for that matter. Our days are numbered, we all know that, but I don't think we all live that way.

We see our days as a To Do List.
Get up. CHECK
Shower. CHECK
Get dressed. CHECK
Pour coffee (and relish the first sip). CHECK
Grab purse, bag, breakfast. CHECK
Bid goodbyes. CHECK
Head out to work. CHECK

And this list can go on and is different for some. But the point is that not one thing on that list gets me excited about the day (except for maybe the coffee). Life is so much more than the mundane things we go about doing. Life is beautiful and very rarely do we take the time to appreciate it. Getting out of bed tends to be the hardest task of the day because of our perspective. We would rather stay in our cozy beds than jump up and tackle the day because we focus on the expected rather than the potential. Sure, those things on our "check list" must get done throughout the day. We have to get up and go to work, but instead of focusing on those things we should look for the potential of the day.

When was the last time you stopped to notice the jumpy little squirrel with his packed cheeks? Or what about the leaves? They are gorgeous this time of year! What about the sunset or sunrise or the moon or the stars? When have you just stared at the clouds? It might sound silly to us because it's not what is expected of us, but I believe that God has placed these things to remind of us how unimportant our routine is. He places the crazy squirrels and puffy clouds and random cloudbursts followed by rainbows in our lives to show his magnificence. But, instead of noticing them we are too focused on our lives and the things we have to do.

God's creation screams look at me, notice me and worship my Creator. I truly believe that if we start focusing more on each day's potential rather than it's checklist it would be a whole lot easier to get up in the morning and actually enjoy the day. God didn't create us to go through life doing the same things over and over again. If that was the case why would he make us all different? Why would there be seasons, and funny animals, and beautiful sunsets, and amazing rain storms? Our world would be gray and blah if the checklist was all we were to live for.

We are made to worship God.
Today is the day we should change our perspective. Today is the day God has allowed us to wake up and see. Today is the day that I should choose to worship my Creator rather than focus on the day to day.

Today is the day that I choose to live intentionally and see the potential and beauty in everything.

He Is Moving

The grace of God is incredible. It's far greater than anything I have ever experienced. When we are still, unable to move because the weight of this world is too great for us, he is moving. When we feel numb because we have taken all that we feel we can handle, he is already moving and working. When the end seems dark and hopeless and no where in arms reach, he is there moving. He knows the outcome before the situation even begins. He knows all that we have and will endure before it begins. Honestly, he knew our story before the creation of this world even began.
The amazing, humbling, and most glorious thing to think about is the fact that before I was even thought of in this world, he knew my name. He knew that I would grow up in a Christian home and still endure the temptations of this world. He knew that I would struggle with heartache and feel unwanted by people I loved. He knew that I would desire to be a wife and a mom before a career. He knew that I would fall down and lose my way and do things that would break his heart. And yet, despite knowing all those things, he chose me anyway. He chose me before the creation of this world to make me his child.
While I was wandering lost and feeling hopeless, he was there waiting for me to throw up my hands and cry out to him for help. When I felt like all my dreams had come crashing down, and I had flushed them out of my life and there was nothing left, he was moving. He was working in the life of someone else. Someone else who was going through hard times and wandering on their own path. He was orchestrating the greatest moment of both of our lives, and we were completely oblivious to it. While he was moving in our lives we began to move closer to him. Each of us had thrown up our hands and cried out to him to take control of our lives. We reached the realization that we, on our own, are not enough to make it through this life. It's messy, complicated, trivial, heart wrenching, difficult, and the sun-shining days tend to be outweighed by the gloomy ones. But with him and his strength and his guidance it also can be beautiful, clear, purposeful, and joyous.
He showed us just how gracious and loving and exact he is. Our lives were joined together August 10, 2013 and we know without a shadow of a doubt that God was orchestrating the whole thing from the time we met til the time we said "I do." God was moving in our lives then, and he is moving in our lives now. I don't wish that our pasts didn't exist because it is a part of who we are. Sure not all of it was pleasant, but I may not be here now writing this if it wasn't for it. I may not be married and head over heals in love with my best friend if it wasn't for the mistakes that I made that caused me to move down here in the first place.
He is moving, in our lives and all around us. We can see it when we are still and not trying to control everything. We can witness the miracles that he does around us when we are more focused on him rather than on our own lives and agendas we have.
He is moving and working, and I hope you have experienced it yourself. It will take your breath away.

Perfect Love

There is something we all crave.
Love.
Intimacy.
Understanding.
Acceptance.
There are so many things that we want from others, but what we fail to realize is that no one is capable of fulfilling any of those things. We long to fill this need in our lives and search until we find something thatwill, but at some point that thing fails and we are left with yet another hole.
We are all born wanting something more, wanting something meaningful to be in our lives. We long to find something or someone who will not leave us empty handed in the end, and the days seem longer and more unbearable until we discover what that thing is (in our eyes). We fail to acknowledge that we, ourselves, are not capable of filling our own empty spots and therefore no one else on this planet will be able to do the same for us.
We are created with a hole that has a special piece that fits it. It's unique, shaped specifically for that spot. Nothing else will fit and nothing else, no matter how much we try to dress it up or reshape it, will ever fill that spot completely.
There will always be a gap!
Unless....
We seek out the one thing that can and will fill every inch of that hole. Then, and only then, will we experience a sense of wholeness. Then, and only then, will we begin to experience the beautiful healing process that comes through relying on the Perfect One able to love us perfectly the way we need to be. Only then will we begin to see why all of our other attempts to fill the empty space failed.
I would love to end my thoughts there, but I am not so naive to think that we all become happy and remain happy once that Perfect Piece is found. God, our Savior, is that Perfect Piece. He is the one who knows us inside and out and understands all of our wants and fears. He knows what moves and motivates us and what stops us dead in our tracks because of fear. He knows what it will take to move past the roadblocks and shatter the mountains towering before us. He knows that it will take sacrifice and pain from stretching and growing to reach our full potential. He also knows that we are a stubborn and hard headed people. He knows that we don't like to have our comfort bubbles popped. He knows that we are going to have to decide daily to endure the pain and uncomfortable environment to get to where he needs us. He knows that along the road many, if not all of us, will try to remove him and replace him with something else we see appealing, something that will allow us to sit comfortably, something that will give us temporary happiness rather than pain and sacrifice.
He knows we are imperfect and impatient, but he also knows how to draw us back. He knows how to touch our hearts and bring us back to him. He knows that we long to feel complete. He knows that as an imperfect people we long to be perfect (or pretty darn close). He knows that some may never come to see Him as their piece. He knows that some will reject him without even investigating whether it's a perfect match.
He knows. And He waits. And He calls us to him.
That empty feeling we've all experienced is our hearts searching and calling out for our creator. It is our hearts yearning for the only piece that will bring healing to our broken lives. It is our hearts breaking every day that we try to run from His calling. We are a people created to be in communion with God. We are a people created to have a love relationship with the one Person who knows the ins and outs of our hearts and minds. Without that relationship we feel and always will be empty. Incomplete. Unhappy. Temporary happiness will come and go, but true happiness comes from a perfect love relationship with the God of the Universe... the One who created us... the Perfect Lover of our Souls. Any other attempts to fill that spot are fleeting and will fail us one way or another, sooner or later, leaving us empty.

Legacy

I've often thought about the legacy I will leave. I wonder what people will remember me as. What descriptive words will come to their mind when I am no longer walking this earth. Will they think of me in regards to my hopes and dreams? Will they remember me based on something I did for them? Will I come to their mind when they smell a certain fragrance or hear a certain song? Will they see a picture or something and instantly think of me?

Will my life be one that leaves an impact long after I am gone?

It's not an easy topic, death, but it's one we all must face at one time in our lives.
We are all given life. We are all graced with this life and all that comes with it. We all have a story written for us, and each one will impact at least one other person on this earth. The question is, what kind of impact will it have?

What do you want to be remembered as?

Pretty.

Smart. 

Funny.

Compassionate.

Empathetic.

Adventurous.

Honest. 

Spontaneous.

Brilliant.

Artistic.

Beautiful.

Handsome.

Curious.

Gracious. 

Sympathetic.

Accepting.

Gifted.

Kind.

Creative. 

Warm.

The list can go on and on and on-so can the list of undesirable answers. 

But what is it that you want others to say of you. When all is said and done, what do you want your name to be tied to?

I know my answer. 

Do you?

I want my legacy to point back my Heavenly Father. I don't want people to just remember me, but rather what I stood for. I want people to remember that I was forgiving just as my Father was forgiving. I want people to remember that I gave sacrificially just as my Savior did for me. I want people to remember me as someone who was in love with her Creator and not afraid to show it.
    I don't want people to remember just me.
I want my legacy to extend far past me. If God blesses me with a family and kids of my own, I want them to go on loving Christ with all their hearts and serving him wherever he leads. And, if they go on and have kids, I want those grandbabies to go on living for Him too. Sure, having a legacy of "good" people or "caring" people is fine, but I don't want fine. I want "on-fire" and "unashamed" to grace this world after I am gone.
I realize that a lot of this portion of my legacy I cannot physically control, but I can pray. I can pray for the kids God may bless me with one day. I can pray for those grandbabies; I can pray that their eyes will be open to God's saving grace and unending love. I can pray that God will equip them to go on and do amazing things in His name.

Our legacy starts with us. It starts with us right now, while we're still breathing on this earth. It starts with us kneeling before our Maker and praying on behalf of all the others to come. It starts with us praying that he will guide our footsteps, and we will follow him trustingly.
Our legacy doesn't start down the road, it's already being written....

It's a Human Thing

I have been reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore, and she has a funny way of saying exactly what my heart needs to hear, and her words definitely get my wheels turning. There is a world of insecurities out there and not a single one of us is exempt from them, men and women alike. I think often times the word insecurity instantly causes us to think of females because society doesn't talk about men having those issues. Women are seen as the unstable ones (and honestly, how can we not be with all the media out there plastering covers with skinny, airbrushed models and filling our minds with so many lies, but that's a different post for another time).
I'll be honest with you, I've never really stopped to think about insecurities men might be facing, but, in a way, I think that it would be harder for them to deal with them since society pins men as being the stronger (and generally more sane of the two genders). I think both genders are equally targeted, but what is deemed an insecurity in women is termed a weakness in men. I think the fear of failure is one of the biggest insecurities that men tend to face. Society puts so much pressure on them to be the best, to succeed, to be competitive, to make money, to be all these things that, at times, are actually not attainable. We don't really give men room to work at things; it's either you do it right the first time or you've failed. If we think about it though, Christ had to attempt something twice, not necessarily because he failed (he's perfect so failing isn't exactly something he's capable of!), but maybe because he was showing us that you don't always have to get things right the first time. Things may need perfecting and that can take time.
Mark 8 speaks about the blind man at Bethsaida. Not much is known about the man except that he is blind, and quite possibly has been all of his life. His friends bring him to Jesus and requests that He touch him. Jesus chose to led the man out of the village to heal him. He spit on the man's eyes and touched them and asked him "Do you see anything?" Now, we all know that Jesus is perfectly capable of healing; he rose Lazarus from the dead! But, the man doesn't reply that he saw people; he says that he saw people that "look like trees walking around." Jesus wasn't exactly okay with that result so he placed his hands on the man's eyes again, and this time the Bible says his sight was "restored, and he saw everything clearly." Clearly and like are not synonyms. They are two different words meaning two different things. Jesus didn't fail at healing; I like to think that this passage is here to remind us that not everything has to be done right the first time.
I don't really know the exact point of why I'm writing this, and I suppose that you could draw out quite a few points to take away. For me, it's just a reminder that not a single one of us on this earth has it together. Some may seem like they are free of insecurities and fears, but if we take the time to get to know them, those things will peek through their hard shell. We are all human. We all struggle with issues that plague our mind everyday. Some of us indulge in them and wallow in self-pity while others try everything in their power to fight them, but it's not our own strength that will bring healing to them. Only Christ's strength can provide an end and true healing. After all, he is the only person to endure all temptations but not give into them.

Plans

I can honestly say that being patient is not my strong suit. I don't like having to wait for other people. Waiting for things to happen that I think should be well underway is something I despise. Life is a waiting game, and I'm losing more often than not.
I have plans for my life. I have plan A and B, and I have even thought about C just in case the other two go awry. I know how each of them will play out and what my role will be in them. Yes, there are some points along all three paths that are a little fuzzy simply because I know that I cannot fully plan out everything. I don't know for a fact where I will be in a year or who will be in my life, but I have a pretty good inkling.
If I was a little smarter, I would realize that my plan has never worked out in the past. I have always had to instate back up plans and rework kinks. This life that I am living has yet to go like I thought it would, and as I sit here typing my thoughts, I am realizing, again, that all my plans were selfishly planned out. I wasn't including God or his plan for me. I wasn't consulting him to find out what he might think about it all (if I had, I would've been reminded that planning out my life is not my job).
God's given me desires and passions to reach people, but to be honest, I'm scared to do so because I so easily take hold of the reins and begin down the path that appears quick and easy. I am so easily distracted off the path that God has lain out for me. I see something that I want relatively close to my reach and I sprint toward it.
My impatience and desire to control things kills me. In my head I realize the affects they have on me, but my heart keeps insisting that I move forward.
This waiting game that I feel I am playing is probably largely my fault. If I would just sit still and wait on God to unfold things, I would be farther along than I am. Who knows, maybe I would be living out one of my plans.
I've often thought about working with young girls. There is something so important about having someone to talk to about anything and everything when you are in junior high, and even high school. I cannot even begin to explain just how important it was for me. Without my junior high youth leader, I probably would've been more lost than I was. When you find a person who can hug you and make you melt or who can read your emotions by one little glance, hold onto them because they are a true gift from God. I want to be that for another person. I want to express to them the importance of their life. I want to inform them that their opinions and dreams do matter. I want young girls to know that there is more to life than looking pretty and getting attention. I want them to realize that they were put on this earth for a reason-and it's not just to make money or attract boys.
Maybe I've been playing what I see as the waiting game because God's not done preparing me for the next step. Maybe he has a plan that trumps any of mine...actually, I'm sure he does...but maybe my incessant attempts to make my plan work have been blinding me to the plan he is working to unfold right in front of my eyes. And, maybe that plan is to work with young girls, or maybe it's something entirely different. Whatever it is, I know that it will be the time of my life because God isn't in the game to let me down. He's not out to disappoint me. His plan will be far better than any I've thought up. I just need to remember that no matter how many plans I create, they will foil without his hand in them.